Kyo's Triumph, Kyo's Revenge
by Birdie Ruskin
Summary: Kyo finally beat that Yuki at a school dance...read and find out how.Oochumor. Rated for Yuki and Kyo's bad mouthing.
1. kyo wins

**Kyo's Triumph, Kyo's Revenge** **Yuki's humiliation**

Yuki and Kyo were at their high school dance Tohru was at home with the flu. Yuki and Kyo were doing pretty well together without Tohru when all of a sudden:  
Y.Fangirl1: Yuki is a god! How can you say Kyo is better?  
K.Fangirl2: Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Kyo is a sexy devil! Yuki doesn't even compare!

Suddenly a group of Yuki girls were on one side and the Kyo girls were on the other...screaming at each other.

Kyo: Look at those girls fighting over us. How stupid.  
Yuki: Isn't it? I mean, It's **so**stupid we all know who's the best...  
Kyo: Yeah, I know right?  
Both: Me!  
Yuki: Ha ha! Very Funny Kyo! I thought you said...  
Kyo: of course I did! You moron!  
Yuki: Let's settle this once and for all...  
Kyo: Ladies first!  
Haru: from nowhere All right fellas here are the rules: One of you calls evens or odds and hold up two or three fingers no less and no more, The sum of your fingers even or odd will determine who loses that round. If you lose you will...he stops to think ...you will have to remove one piece of your clothing. I'll tell you what, I'll be a nice guy, first one who is down to their underwear loses. The winner will be crowned the bishounen of the school. Ready?

Kyo: Bring it!  
Yuki: Haru all you do is seal the cat's inevitable defeat.  
Kyo: Shove it up yours, asshole!  
Haru: I just love a good come-back...er, what ever! Begin!

They (Yuki and Kyo) sit down on the floor and call:

Kyo: Odds!  
Yuki: Evens!  
They hold up their fingers Yuki held up 2 fingers Kyo held up 2 as well that equals 4(evens).  
Kyo: Shit!  
Yuki: that's right cat. Now remove your tie.

Kyo does and they continue. In the background calls of evens and odds and grunts and laughs were heard as two girls from the Kyo Sohma fan side whisper to each other

K.Fangirl67: You know Haru's proposal is like a treat to both sides.  
K.Fangirl54: I know, which ever boy wins is crowned bishounen and which doesn't win, at least we get to see their...  
K.Fangirl24: please! I can barely contain it!  
K.Fangirl54: Me either! She squeals Oooh! I hope Sohma-kun at least removes his shirt before he wins.  
K.Fangirl$: My life will be complete if that happens. all three girls sigh

The 'battle' rages on Kyo has his tie, shoes, socks, and his shirt and undershirt. (don't know if he wears on but oh well) Kyo has just managed to win again and now Yuki has to remove his undershirt as well. The fan girls—and some guys—scream. It's a tie.

Haru: All right Sohmas. It's a tie. Now here comes the tie—  
Kyo: Shut up Haru and just let us call!  
Yuki: you're really anxious to embarrass your self aren't you cat?  
Kyo: screw you! I'm gonna win and you'll be the one scarred for life...you damn rodent.  
Haru: Will you both shut up! Ahem, now as I was saying before I was so rudely—oh, forget it! Here's the tie-breaker.

They give each other death glares—that made the audience halt in a complete awkward-scratch that, _unnatural_ stillness.

Haru: yells Go!  
Yuki: evens!  
Kyo: odds!

They each hold up their fingers...

Haru: Kyo 3. Yuki...2! Kyo's the winneeeerrrr!

The crowd was in an uproar The Kyo fans screamed as loud as they could. The Yuki fans moaned but then screamed anyway because they got to see Yuki's underwear.

Yuki: #$&! You #$!# Caaaat!  
Kyo: ...didn't even hear he was laughing so hard ...  
Haru: Kyo has no comment. Yuki you know what to do.  
Yuki: THANK YOU HARU! he yells

Yuki puts his hands on his pants and tugs slowly. Everyone is silent even Kyo...He wanted to savor the moment. Yuki's pants come off.

Everyone:...O.O

Kyo:D

Haru: . Holy shit!

Yuki's underwear were...were...

Fanboy: Yuki's wearing a _truck goes by_ underwear!  
Y.Fangirl: My God Yuki wears _a baby cries_ underwear!  
Haru: Shit! Even I didn't know! Yuki you wear _a dolphin clicks_ underwear? For real? This is even better than when I proved to Take that my hair color was natural!  
Kyo: pissing his pants he's laughing so hard ...oh...man... he manages to say

Suddenly a camera snaps

Y.Fangirl55: I will never forget this and with this picture I sure as hell won't.

That night everyone left shocked at their new discovery. Kyo asked that girl to make him about 20 copies of the picture. She agreed and said anything for you Kyo-kun. Kyo then ran home in such a hurry he didn't even mind the fact that Haru said he was sleeping over his house. First thing he did was tell Tohru and Shigure about the incident. They couldn't believe it.  
That night Kyo slept with a plastic mattress because he was afraid he would laugh again in his sleep as he dreamt about it.

Kyo: Akito and Hatori are in for a rude awakening tomorrow. That bastard Akito won't ever lock me up now.

**_OWARI_**

* * *

Ha Ha! Sorry for those of You who wanted Yuki to win, but Kyo finally beat that Yuki! Yay! I love Fruits Basket! Haru is my favorite...not that any of you needed to know that... 

please review! I need to know if I should continue the story.

In case you don't know how to 'review'... see that button on the bottom yeah the one that says 'submit review' all you have to do is 'click' that and tell me what you think.

Birdie


	2. Maury

Woooo! It's been a long time! Oh how was Panama? It was beautiful it was the coolest place evaaaa! Well, anyway not that any of you would want to know anyways, you're all just here for the funny story... --;; well hre it is: a part. 2!

Maury 

Maury: Ok we're hear on 'Maury: I am an Angel' with some exclusive news/footage of some of the most remarkable and extraordinary people who are all just looking for some to love them. So give a big hand since it took a lot for him to come here, Kyo Sohma!

**(audience claps.)**

Kyo: (whispers)why the hell are they clapping all I did was walk on stage...?

Maury: hello Kyo we understand that you have had a pretty rough life care to tell us?

Kyo: What? R-rough life? Who the hell told you that—stops arrrghhh! It was that nasty Rat's-ass of a rat that told all of you wasn't it! LISTEN! I'm only here because Tohru said so— "

Maury: Tohru? Oh, yes she is said to be the only one who cares for you.

Kyo: what! Who told you—I have friends! Other than Tohru that actually care too! Unlike Yuki! All those girls are after are his looks.

Maury: Right you are Kyo! Let's bring out Tohru next.

(audienceclaps)

Tohru: Oh, Kyo I didn't know I was your only friend...I feel so sad...(her eyes bulge in the anime fashion) O-Oh N-No! II Didn't-t mean i-it like th-that! I like being your friend Kyo it's just—

Kyo: What are you stupid! (**Mutters)** well actually...(speaks louder) I just told this guy over here (points at Maury) it was that damn rat who suckered us all...well exept for me of course... he says coolly (A/N: is that a word?)

Yuki: You bastard cat!he was hiding behind scenes trying to contain his anger

Kyo: See! The rat was watching from his nasty shadows in the sewers.

Yuki: Yeah, watching the cat choke on a hairball in front of millions on national tv!

Kyo: go eat some cheese you filthy rat's ass. Oops! Did I say that out loud? I guess It's taken pretty seriously when you're an actual rat's ass ain't it! kyo yells

Yuki: oh yeah well—

-------------------------------------------several bad puns later------------------------------------

(both are panting from cussing each other out so much)

Maury/Yohru: Oh my—

Haru: (Haru just strolls in outta no where, waves his hand while his other is in his pants' pocket) hey Yuki, Kyo, Tohru.

All three: Haru?

Maury: Oh my! Ladies and gentlemen look at that young lad's hair it is absolutely to die for!

All three again: WHAT?

(audience agrees with Maury)

Yuki: what's so great about _his _hair? Look at mine, it's grey!

Maury: well yes Yuki, that is true but yours is all girly and long. Look at your friend's it's just perfect. Perfect color, perfect, shape we must have it!

Haru: aw shit! (he runs off the stage and into the audience that corners him to a wall) aw! Double shit! (he's tackled down) NOOOO! (his screams are muffled by thepiling bodies)MM umUphfh!

All three: ok...?

TBC... hopefully sooner than last time


End file.
